Xmas Goats!

As you see from the photo of the apron the memsahib bought me for xmas, they've infiltrated the house!

Whisky, Tango , Foxtrot???

Only in Amerika!

This time around the Thanksgiving morning came with a real shock for Gail Fiero as he woke up to find his goats eating porn with their genitals painted bright orange.

The prank had been played by Drew Gagnon in all what apparently seemed to be an act for harassing Fiero.
According to complaint filed with Carmel police, Gagnon, 37, allegedly broke into Fiero's barn on Croton Falls Road at about 2 a.m. Thursday, spray painted the three goats in their genital area, and scattered pages of pornographic magazines on his property.
Police said Gagnon was drove to the scene by his 34-year-old friend, Douglas Bisio.
The Journal News on its Web site reported that the veterinarian hired by the family had sent a letter to Carmel police, in which he described that animals became sick after eating the magazine pages and their health was endangered.
Officers responded to the barn on Thursday and arrested the two suspects Friday night.
Gagnon was charged with third-degree burglary, a felony, plus three misdemeanor counts of animal-cruelty and one of third-degree criminal trespass. He is due in Carmel Town Court on Monday.
Bisio has been charged with criminal-facilitation.

The best proof yet!

Watch and listen and be amazed that the goats allowed this to get into the public domain! It finally proves what I've been saying all along!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=fu3iBOCkB_0

Wiki Goats?

You've heard of Wikipedia, you might have heard of ConservaPedia ( a totally silly right wing fundamentalist Xian load of bolloxs) but the best so far has got to be:

http://www.rationalwiki.com/wiki/Goat

although I'm not too sure about Stacey!

The only good goat.....

What more can I say?

Outbreak on another Greek Island!

Try and tell me this one isn't evil!

I've just been forwarded the following by a gentleman who, for his own protection must remain anonymous but who, for the sake of arguement, we'll refer to as Ian:





"Symi has a variety of goat called a "beach-goat" - these goats are masters at raiding sunbather's bags and stealing any fruit/bread etc. they sniff out - they are totally friendly and you can feed them by hand if you wish. Apart from beach-goats there are loads of "path-goats" whose primary role is to destroy the walls of moni-paths plus normal goats and quite a few sheep wandering around all over the island."





So it's not just Crete where they are plotting!

Another evil plot thwarted!

I’m back!

The lack of recent postings on this blog have been down to the fact that site was hacked into by goats in a vain attempt on their part to stop me revealing the truth!

The evil ones got at the control panel and changed the language to Greek, knowing full well that my command of the Greek language is roughly equal to the amount of intelligence and common sense possessed by George W. Bush.

I eventually managed to find a Greek helper who was prepared to risk the wrath of the goats and he very kindly helped me get back on track at great personal risk to his own sanity. To protect him from goatish retaliation I have promised not to reveal that his name is Alexandros.

As you can see above, their military activity is increasing…out the other day and I came across one preparing for a parachute jumping – he was starting with a short drop with a safety net underneath but it’s clear to me that this is just a preliminary for the real thing. Keep watching the sky!

It’s all part of the plot!


Above is the cover of a book just in from the UK.

It’s scary! It tries to get you to sympathise with the goats that the CIA and the American army are attempting to kill. How are they trying to kill them? By staring at them!

Don’t fall for this obvious ploy! It’s a trap! Whilst the Americans are clearly a load of psychopathic, not to mention psychotic, nut cases, don’t let that distract you from the inherent evil of the goats!

Sudanese Update

Breaking News from the Sudan:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/6619983.stm

Choked on a plastic bag?!?I suspect at Conservative MP and an orange might have been involved somewhere!

From our Indian Correpondent

Word has reached us from India, (ah, how well I remember my time there with the good old 91st Punjab Lancers.. I recall that once out on patrol up the Kybher Pass I shot a tiger in my pyjamas. "How did a tiger get into your pyjamas?" I hear you say...well don't be silly; one can't go to bed with a naked tiger, that would be most improper!) that at long last recognition of the inherent evil of goats is spreading and more importantly, they've alerted me to the link between the goats and the British ruling family. See:


http://www.bosey.co.in/2005_05_15_bosey_archive.html


Paleochora thinks:
10.55 Sunday, 29 April, 22 degrees and sunny

The following is an extract from the long lost, and hitherto considered mythical, Book of Michael, one of the pseudo biblical books for some unknown reason excluded from the normal canon. Its authenticity is considered by some to be in question since it was the only one of the Dead Sea Scrolls, discovered in 1947, written on a PC.



The Book of Michael

Chapter 1

1.i And it came to pass in the town of Pal in the land of Eochora that the men did rise up with one voice and cry, ”We want an election for we haven’t had one for some time and our wives grow much weary.”

1.ii. So, in the following Octember, an election was had by all and the old king was challenged by am would be new king who did promise mightily to improve the well being of the people of the town of Pal in the land of Eochora.

1.iii. “I will make you wives and daughters fertile and your land beautiful1,” he did promise. And he, like the old king, was from the Malaka people.2

1.iv. So the new king did get his election and some of the people of the town were much given to celebration and happiness.

1.v. Throughout the winter they did celebrate with free music and dance in the kings palace while those of the tribe Hotelier3 did sit in the background and mutter mightily for they had been mighty in the forces arranging to get the new king elected, albeit by 6 votes.


Chapter 2


2.i. Then in the spring of the following year those of the tribe Hotelier did approach the new king and say unto him “So, what are you going to do for us?”

2.ii. And the new king did think and declare that he would beautify the town of Pal in the land of Eochora and make it such that hordes of foreigners4 would descend upon the town bringing with them great wealth and many fair maidens and youths to entice the sons and daughters of the town of Pal in the land of Eochora.

2.iii. “I will dedicate 50% of my workforce to a tree planting initiative” quoth he.

2.iii. And so it came to pass that 50% of the kings workforce (Dimitri) was ordered by the king to plant trees upon the sandy beach so to beautify the beach in the sight of the people and attract hordes.

2.iv. And on the second day after Easter5 Dimitri did labour mightily all day upon the sandy beach in the warm sun and did plant 12 palm trees, 30cm high, alongside the promenade. And he saw this was good.

2.v. And while Dimitri did labour mightily in the warm sun on the beach, the other 50% of the king’s workforce (Costas) did labour with his mechanical ass JaCoB and his mighty shovel and did dig a hole in the middle of the main street to try to repair, for the fourth time in a year, the water main.

2.vi. And on the third day after Easter the king did say unto Dimitri “Well done thou good and faithful servant, I hope you remembered to install the automatic watering pipes6 under the new palm trees.”

2.vii. And Dimitri did reply “Oh, Goat excrement; I knew there was something I forgot to do!”

2.ix. And so on the fourth day after Easter, Dimitri did toil again upon the sandy beach in the warm sun and dig up the 12 palm trees and under them lay an automatic watering system and then did plant them again. And he gazed upon his work at the end of the day and was again satisfied.

2.x. And also upon the fourth day after Easter, Costas and his faithful ass JaCoB did labour up to their knees in mud to fix the broken water main for it had rent asunder in the night in a different place form that where Costas had fixed it two days before.

2.xi. Lo, upon the fifth day after Easter then people of the tribe Hotelier did come onto the king and address him with words of scorn and derision.

2.xii. “You tosser.” they did say onto him, “You have got your servant Dimitri to plant palm trees along the sea front which will grow mightily up into the sky and block the beautiful sunset views from the from of our tents, thus causing the hordes of foreigners you promised us to flee from the town and forever spoil the prospects of our sons and daughters.”

2.xiii. “Oh Bollocks” said the king and did call again for his faithful servant Dimitri.

2.xiv. And so it came to pass that once more upon the sixth day after Easter, Dimitri did go forth into the warm sun on the sandy beach where he did dig up the 12 palm trees, place them into metal boxes to restrict their growth, and then replant the trees. And he was well pleased with his labours.

2.xv. And Costas was well pleased for the water main had not broken for 48 hours.

2.xvi. And the king was well pleased and the men of the tribe Hotelier were as well pleased as they would ever be, at least for the time being.



Chapter 3.

3.i. Now it had come to pass that following the new kings election the elements did generally look kindly upon the people of the town of Pal in the land of Eochora and the winter was mild.

3.ii. But the wind was under the control of the evil goat7 who did cast envious eyes upon the people of the town of Pal in the land of Eochora and did determine to cause them much grief and so sent a mighty wind to assail them; so strong did the wind wax on occasion that for some time the people of the town of Pal in the land of Eochora did watch with dismay as the sand from their fine sandy beach did fly off in the general direction of the land of Libya.

3.iii. On the seventh day after Easter, the men of the tribe Hotelier did gave upon the sandy beach with its new, stunted, palm trees and did say onto themselves “ Verily, this is a fine sandy beach but is it not distinctly lacking in sand?”

3.iv. Then calling upon the new king they said onto him “Where is the sand for our sandy beach?”

3.v. And the king did say “Leave it to me and I will put half of my workforce to work on the problem.”

3.vi. And the king did say onto Costas “Go forth with your mighty ass JaCoB and move the sand from the large sand dunes where it has drifted at the wall at the back of the beach and place it along the beach to cover the rocks and make the beach look even more attractive than it currently is.”

3.vii. So upon the ninth day after Easter, Costas and his ass JaCoB did labour mightily in the warm sun all day upon the sandy beach and move the sand from the large sand dunes where it has drifted at the wall at the back of the beach and place it along the beach to cover the rocks and make the beach look even more attractive than it had been.

3.viii. And, at the end of a warm day on the sandy beach, Costas gazed upon his labours and saw that they were good and considered that a day labouring in the sun on the sandy beach was better than a day in a trench trying to fix a broken water main.

3.ix. And as he gazed upon his labours the king did come onto him and say “Well done thou good and faithful servant, I hope you remembered not to disturb the new palm trees and automatic watering system that your brother Dimitri had installed in the sand dunes at the back of the beach which you have now levelled.”

3.x. “Oh Bollocks” said Costas, gazing at the remains of 12 small palm trees in their growth limiting boxes and various bits of broken automatic watering system pipe work scattered along the length of the sandy beach.

3.xi And Costas wept.



extract ends.

Notes


1 Possible mistranslation….might read: “I will make you wives and daughters beautiful and your land fertile”

2 At least we assume so from the fact that many of the voters were heard to remark something on the lines of “Why bother, they’re both Malakas.”

3 The other main tribe in the area at that time was the “Greenhousites” known for their habit of hibernating in large plastic tents throughout the winter.

4 Mostly from the tribe of “Tourist.”

5 “Easter” a movable feast celebrated by the consumption of vast quantity of grilled lamb. Quite what the lambs think of this manner of celebration is not known.

6 An “Automatic watering system” at this time consisted of a length of plastic pipe with holes pierced in it at appropriate points along its length, preferably in the vicinity of the plant to be watered, one end sealed and the other connected to a tap which was turned on for 15 minutes each morning.

7 The Evil Goat features widely in the folklore of the town of Pal.

They've found me!

The memsahib woke me the other morning with the immortal words:

"You are right sir, they are after you!"

To explain, our apartment is built into the walls of an old Venetian fortress and the roof of the utility room backs onto the fortress slope. There on the roof, gazing down into the kitchen, was a goat; one of a party that had infiltrated through the fortress, down the slope and were now surrounding us!

Remembering my military training in the good old Indian Army of the Raj, and my many happy days spent up the Khyber Pass, I did the only thing sensible and sent the memsahib out with a white flag to wave at them.

In their usual cowardly fashion they retreated at the first sign of the memsahib trying to surrender.

Paleochora thinks:

Monday 23 April, 22 degrees at 10.50, high wind from the east and lots of Libyan sand around

Dinner the other night at the apartment attended by, amongst others, a pair of 4 years and 364 day old twins and Manolis our 5 year old neighbour. A full report will be posted when I recover, in approx 2027.

More military preparations

Proof, if it's still needed, of the goats forthcoming attempt at world domination has been discovered and is shown to the world for the first time in the photos here. In spite of it's brilliant camouflage, this AFV (Armoured Fighting Vehicle) was spotted just outside Paleochora yesterday.

It is belived its performance will be significantly enhanced when an engine is fitted

The gun, specially designed to shoot round corners, is believed to be responsible for the hole in our solar heating panel (or then again the hole could have been caused by kids throwing stones off the Fortress walls onto our roof....if it was kids, I'm sure the goats put them up to it.)

Security Alert!

The Greek armed forces were put on high alert the other day when it was discovered that a vital element in the Early Goat Warning System had collapsed under the relentless pressure.

A spokesman for the local military said:

"Wow, that was Lucky"

It is not clear what he was referring to but it is thought it might have some connection with The Alpha Kafenion in Azogyres.

Lucky, the own of the Alpha Kafenion, was too busy chasing a cat which had just stolen a pork chop to comment.

It's spreading!

News has reached me from the depths of Sudan illustrating just how far these evil goats will go to infiltrate human society.

See:http://news.bbc.co.uk/nol/ukfs_news/hi/newsid_4740000/newsid_4748200/4748292.stm

Paleochora thinks

Monday16 April 2007

19 degrees and cloudy.

Sat outside a taverna yesterday in the bright sunshine. The courtyard in which I was sitting is shaded by a combination of bamboo, grape vines and olive netting and on days like yesterday the boss cat, a big black and white tom, the scarred victor of many a cat fight, likes to sleep on top of the netting. About 15.00 along comes a youngish cat, obviously new to the taverna, which climbs up the tree and starts to stroll out on the olive net. A few seconds later there's a very loud scream as the newbie disturbs the boss from his slumbers. We await the noise of a fight but are greeted instead to a stream of cat urine trickling down...onto the bare head of an Austrian tourist sat at the table below.

Oh how we laughed.

What is going on?

Spotted this up in the hills yesterday. You can see the malice in it's heart by just looking at it!There was one of them at the start of the walk and a DIFFERENT TWO at the end! They're multiplying at an great rate and there seems to be more of them every day. There's clearly something going on here and I think we should be told!

The only sign of hope yesterday was one hanging upside down with its head chopped off and just about to be disembowled! I couldn't get a picture unfortunately because of the presence of a vegetarian in the car at the time

On an entirely different tack, Neil Gaimen is one of my favourite writers but even he seems to have fallen for their propaganda!

http://www.neilgaiman.com/journal/2006/11/evil-and-goats.html

Paleochora thinks.

Friday 13 April (and I'm not going out just in case....)

Hot weather over the last few deays but very windy; so windy that the bourganvilla on the balcony tried to take off and emigrate to Libyia, taking half the support frame and the marble strip on top of the balcony wall with it.

Nice concert in the community centre last night. We went out at 21.00 to see it and it finally kicked off at 23.00 with the guest star appearing at midnight! If it hadn't been for his expertise on the lyra I might have suspected he was a goat giveen the amount of retsina he forced me to drink.

The fightback begins!

At last! Notice is been taken of my warnings about the evils of goats!!


http://environment.guardian.co.uk/conservation/story/0,,2051980,00.html


The reach of them clearly goes beyond the boundaries of Crete/Greece and is obviously a world wide issue. Three cheers for Lynton Council is what I say!



Paleochora thinks.


Easter Sunday morning at 00.15: Judas burnt, fireworks going off madly and prettily then someone grabs a flare, runs on the Fortress walls with it and throws it down the slope. The result.....a nice Easter blaze and the fire engine is called out! Police are looking for a goat with a singed beard.



It's going to be interesting to see what come up on the burnt patch



(Just visible in the photo but it looks a lot worse in real life!)




























Sunday 8 April 2007. The first serious sunbathers spotted on the beach; needless to say they were white in the morning and bright red by lunchtime.

What do goats play?

It has not been suggested to me by someone who shall remain nameless but who, for the sake of argument and in the probably vain hope that he'll reward me handsomly for the gratuitious mention, we'll call Barry at the Calypso Restaurant, Paleochora (dodgy chairs but a good stool guaranteed*, that goats play one of these things;

a ukephone.

I think that's a very silly idea.

For a start anybody who knows anything about goats will realise that they are tone deaf and hence more likely to play a melodeon and/or bagpipes. (Just thought; some sorts of bagpipes are made from complete goatskins, minus the goat, so they may not in fact play them. The again, given their evil and perverted nature, they might just take a great delight in blowing into the vacant skin of one of their close relatives....I know I would.)

*Very bad joke courtesy of : www.calypsocrete.blogspot.com

Paleochora thinks.

Saturday 31 March 2007

Rain last night but weather has been lovely and warm otherwise. Big fun yesterday was watching the police 4x4 blocking the main road while the policeman had a nice long chat with one of his mates and the queue of traffic grew longer and longer. Eventually the driver of the local, and almost only, bus got out of his cab and come to ask the plod to move, an act of supreme bravery in my humble opinion.

The smell of paint and varnish fills the air as more and more of the taverna and restaurant owners come back and start getting ready to open: unlike Barry at the Calypso Restaurant (http://www.calypsocrete.blogspot.com/) who's been open all winter. (That enough of a plug Barry?)

Further proof of the existence of "non sequitur" goats

For those doubters who doubt the existence of "non sequitur" goats, i.e. goats who can disguise themselves as other ordinary object like, say, a bottle of beer or a misso kilo krasi aspero and then jump out at you anf give you a headache, have a look at the following which appears at: /www.decanter.com/news/47909.html
Goats continue to Roam despite Rhône objections.

February 17, 2004.



Oliver Styles

South African winery Fairview has introduced a new line of wines called 'Goats do Roam in Villages' as a trademark fight with the French continues in the US. According to the label on the back of the bottle, the new wine was so named after a herd of goats from the estate farm 'volunteered' to go and supply their milk to a village of children orphaned by AIDS. The name of the wine follows on from a couple of puns – intentional or not – on Rhône-style reds, in particular, Goats do Roam, similar to Côtes du Rhône, and Goat Roti (Côte Rôtie). Fairview – also a goat farm - originally claimed that the naming of the wines was 'purely coincidental', pointing out that goats do roam near – and once actually in - the vineyard. With this release Fairview are taking a new line and boss Charles Back is keen to stress the conceptual difference. 'As a concept, Goats do Roam in Villages is intellectually far apart from its French counterpart,' he said. He added that he seriously doubted the label on the new bottle (pictured) resembled any village in France. These puns – 'justified' according to Malcom Gluck in The Guardian – have irked France's terroir creator and protector, the INAO (Institut National des Appellations d'Origine). The INAO is currently in a legal battle in America to stop the trademark of Fairview's Goats Roti. The similarity between the Goats do Roam line and the French wines of the Côtes du Rhône is 'evident' according to INAO spokesperson Sylvie Serra. The INAO is keen to avoid the media interest generated by the wrangle. 'We are not playing his game. We do not want to feed the publicity it has created,' said Serra. According to Back, the troubles started when Fairview wanted to register the name of their wine in the US and it was blocked by the French. The INAO claim that some Americans may not see the difference between the wines. Ironically, the Goats do Roam trademark was accepted in Europe before the first bottles were produced in 1999.

Enraged or inspired by what you've read? Have your say on the Letters page of Decanter magazine by emailing editorial@decanter.com.

Good for the French, that's what I say! Keep goats out of wine! Mind you, on the otherhand if the bottles are clearly are labled as wine made from goats who would drink the stuff; furthermore it wouldn't be a "nonsequitur goat" if it was labled as a goat, would it?

Oh shit, I've just disproved my own theory.

How far will they go?

Tuesday 27 March 2007

Further proof that they are trying to infiltrate. This was spotted by one of the many observers scattered across the known globe who are risking life and limb to keep an eye on what the goats are doing.

In order to protect him from them, I can't reveal his name or where he lives so, for the purposes of this exercise, we'll call him Ian from Liverpool.

Non Sequitur goats...a warning!

A non sequitur goat attacked yesterday afternoon…disguised as several or more misso kilo krasi aspero it savagely assaulted me about the head and then forced Metaxa down my throat. I struggled valiantly with it but to no avail and I’ve still got the headache to prove it.

As if this wasn’t bad enough when I went for a constitutional to recover, there they were, a family of them, just staring at me. Then when I got home what did I find but a circular from some god botherers advocating recycling goats! Oxfam was bad enough but this is going too far!

Paleochora thinks.

Independence day yesterday and a nice parade by the school kids followed by traditional Cretan singing and dancing.

Nice and warm today and a Hoopoe was spotted!

This is getting out of hand!

Sunday 25 March 2007

(The photo is of a type of goat called a "non sequitur", a very dangerous breed since they can be found anywhere.)

Looking on the Internet the other day, as was my want, I came across two links that I think are yet more proof that the little buggers are planning something serious. They’ve apparently started infiltrating the media, at least what passes for media in America, and they have go at least one overt group of supporters. See:

http://emuse.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/429

and

http://www.faintinggoats.com/

Why, I hear you ask, or at least hear somebody ask, would they want to publicise the fact that some of them faint? I think the answer is that they are trying to get gullible people to take pity on them; once the soft hearted ones do so and take them into their homes then the goats will strike! Personally I’ve never seen one faint, they always just stare at me with evil in their eyes and a sarcastic sneer on their lips possibly because they know I’m on to them.

BTW: Does the word “Kidnap” have anything to do with them? Too much of a coincidence I think!

Paleochora thinks.

The clocks changed and the weather appears to have done so as well. The 36 hour thunderstorm which changed the main street into a river is now a thing of the past and the forecast is for fine weather for at least the next few days. Just as well really since it’s Greek Independence Day and there’s a big parade in town at 11.00 (Greek time) this morning.

Last night I had my second Gyros Plate since arriving here in April 2006 and this morning I remember why I swore never to have another after the first!

Good news... Terry the tailless Lizard (tail chopped off by an accident in a sliding door last summer) was back with us and was seen basking in the sun on the veranda last week.

Bad news.... Having survived both the amputation of his tail and the winter, Terry went to the Great Lizard Home in the sky the other day when some person or persons unknown stepped on the silly bugger who was too well camouflaged for his own good!

Ah well, such is life!

Possible Goat HQ?

23 March 2007

Possible Goat HQ?

Spotted this up in the mountains above Spaniakos when out botanising. I suspect it might be the Goat HQ for the area.

Goat activity is increasing with them apparently recruiting sheep to carry out kamikaze attacks on our car. Fortunately the sheep were too stupid to do the job properly and instead of throwing themselves off the bank onto the car, they threw themselves off the road into an olive grove…a lucky escape there!

Paleochora thinks

12.30 Friday 23 March temp: 18 degrees

Yesterday it did piss down! The rain hardly stopped all day and the main road was like a river. Fortunately I managed to find shelter in a kafenion or three so missed the worst of it. Other than that it was quite warm and all the indications are that spring has definitely sprung.

The local kids are getting ready for the weekend Independence Day celebration and no doubt praying the rain holds off.

12.15. Just had a nice heavy hail shower but the skies have now cleared.

Spy on the hill

Weds 21 March 2007

Off for a botanising trip this morning and went past the “goat skull tree”, the site of the sighting that lead to the "theory of goats".

Sure enough, up on the hill, there it was, looking at us from a moderate distance, a goat. I couldn’t see if it was writing anything down but I suspect it was.

My botanising companion, aka my wife, suggested the only reason it didn’t attack was because she was there and there might be one of us left alive to tell the tale but I know that the only reason we are still alive is because it was a reconnaissance goat and hence unarmed. This was after patting me on the head and saying something that sounded like "There, there, dear, don't worry; just take one of your pink pills".

Yesterday on my trip out, there were no goats…I suspect they were off at a conference somewhere and I think I might have a photograph of the venue somewhere.

There was, yesterday, however, an outbreak of “Goats Beard”….just shows how far into the scientific community they’ve managed to infiltrate.

Paleochora thinks.


Cloudy but warm- 20 degrees at noon. Forecast is for miserable cold and wet weather for the next day or so.

They’ve started repairing the road in the middle of town….for repairing read dumping a bag of ready made tarmac in the hole and hitting it with a shovel until it’s almost flat with the road surface. At the same time they’ve dug up a water main…… again. Reminds me of the "Kosovan Tatrmac Liberation Front" and their efforts on the main road (only road) out of town to the big cities of the North.

The sport at lunchtime was watching a Greek drive manoevour his Opel Astra around the bollards closing the road and then complaining to the workmen that he couldn’t get past the two lorries and the JCB that were there working on the water main.

More on Goats

Monday 19 March 2007

OK so people think I'm paranoid but that doesn't mean they aren't out to get me.

Take these two (yes, there are two).

They look innocent enough but....Out for a walk in the hills last week and right at the start of the trek there they were, watching me. Two hours later there they were, still there, still watching me. I suspect the presence of a hidden radio somewhere so that they could report my presence and progress to "Goat Command, the nerve centre of their operation. As it was there was no attempt on my person this time but one cannot be too careful.



Paleochora thinks.


10.40 and it's sunny and warm and nice and still. Got a huge load of food from Popi, the keeper of the apartment yesterday; Squid, Octopus, Ocra, Poatatoes,

1 1/2 litres of red wine; bread and cracked olives! No cooking needed last night!

What is the truth about Goats?

18 March 2007 The Start

Here on the lovely island of Crete (for our American friends that's off Greece, Europe) we are faced with a problem...Goats.

I first became aware of their evil plan to take over the world when, up in the hills above Paleochora, I saw hanging from a tree, the skull of a goat. Why was it there?

After a while it occured to me that I'd been watched by goats ever since I got to Crete in April 2006; everywhere you go there are goats. Big ones, little ones, medium sized ones and all inbetween ones. Then it hit me, the theory, not the goat.

Could it be that there was something going on that the goats didn't want us to know about and that the skull belonged to a goat that had threatened to betray the conspiracy?

Could it be that goats are planning to take over the world, starting with Crete.

Since that fateful day I've been gathering evidence that goats are in fact plotting a takeover; not sure if aliens in area 51 are involved but I suspect Cretan cats might be planning to play some part in the plot and if they, the cats, ever learn how to use tin openers then we're all doomed!



Paleochora thinks.



(BTW, Paleochora is on the bottom left hand corner of Crete, just before you drop off the edge.)

Sunday morning; 10.20 ish with the temp 17 degrees and light cloud, no wind. The wind last week was unfortunate to say the least, it was lovely in the sun and shelter but blowing force 5 in any exposed spot.

Looking forward to the summer after a warm(ish compared to London) winter and the chance to get back in the water.