If they get together with the goats, we're doomed!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/8118257.stm

The truth of their origins revealled!

See, I told you!

http://www.shajaracode.com/pageID_4764296.html

Prison breakout!

According to the BBC on 10 September 2008, a minister in the Democratic Republic of Congo has ordered a Kinshasa jail to release a dozen goats, which he said were being held there illegally.
"Deputy Justice Minister Claude Nyamugabo said he found the goats just in time during a routine jail visit.
The beasts were due to appear in court, charged with being sold illegally by the roadside.
The minister said many police had serious gaps in their knowledge and they would be sent for retraining.
Mr Nyamugabo was conducting a routine visit to the prison when, he said, he was astonished to discover not only humans, but a herd of goats crammed into a prison cell in the capital.
He has blamed the police for the incident.
It is not clear what will happen to the owners of the goats, who have also been imprisoned.
BBC Africa analyst Mary Harper says that given the grim state of prisons in Congo, the goats will doubtless be relieved about being spared a trial.
There was no word on what their punishment would have been, had they been found guilty."


Typical wishey washey nonsense...they were obviously guilty of something and should have been treated with the contempt they deserve! Hanging's too good for them!

Now they've got to Morocco!

Clicking on to :

http://oddee.com/item_91568.aspx

brings you to a site containing tree climbing goats found, allegedly only, in Morocco.

It's all lies, they're all over the place and the trees are being climbed to provide a platform for parachute training.

Another evil plot thwarted!

I’m back!

The lack of recent postings on this blog have been down to the fact that site was hacked into by goats in a vain attempt on their part to stop me revealing the truth!

The evil ones got at the control panel and changed the language to Greek, knowing full well that my command of the Greek language is roughly equal to the amount of intelligence and common sense possessed by George W. Bush.

I eventually managed to find a Greek helper who was prepared to risk the wrath of the goats and he very kindly helped me get back on track at great personal risk to his own sanity. To protect him from goatish retaliation I have promised not to reveal that his name is Alexandros.

As you can see above, their military activity is increasing…out the other day and I came across one preparing for a parachute jumping – he was starting with a short drop with a safety net underneath but it’s clear to me that this is just a preliminary for the real thing. Keep watching the sky!

Security Alert!

The Greek armed forces were put on high alert the other day when it was discovered that a vital element in the Early Goat Warning System had collapsed under the relentless pressure.

A spokesman for the local military said:

"Wow, that was Lucky"

It is not clear what he was referring to but it is thought it might have some connection with The Alpha Kafenion in Azogyres.

Lucky, the own of the Alpha Kafenion, was too busy chasing a cat which had just stolen a pork chop to comment.

It's spreading!

News has reached me from the depths of Sudan illustrating just how far these evil goats will go to infiltrate human society.

See:http://news.bbc.co.uk/nol/ukfs_news/hi/newsid_4740000/newsid_4748200/4748292.stm

Paleochora thinks

Monday16 April 2007

19 degrees and cloudy.

Sat outside a taverna yesterday in the bright sunshine. The courtyard in which I was sitting is shaded by a combination of bamboo, grape vines and olive netting and on days like yesterday the boss cat, a big black and white tom, the scarred victor of many a cat fight, likes to sleep on top of the netting. About 15.00 along comes a youngish cat, obviously new to the taverna, which climbs up the tree and starts to stroll out on the olive net. A few seconds later there's a very loud scream as the newbie disturbs the boss from his slumbers. We await the noise of a fight but are greeted instead to a stream of cat urine trickling down...onto the bare head of an Austrian tourist sat at the table below.

Oh how we laughed.

What is going on?

Spotted this up in the hills yesterday. You can see the malice in it's heart by just looking at it!There was one of them at the start of the walk and a DIFFERENT TWO at the end! They're multiplying at an great rate and there seems to be more of them every day. There's clearly something going on here and I think we should be told!

The only sign of hope yesterday was one hanging upside down with its head chopped off and just about to be disembowled! I couldn't get a picture unfortunately because of the presence of a vegetarian in the car at the time

On an entirely different tack, Neil Gaimen is one of my favourite writers but even he seems to have fallen for their propaganda!

http://www.neilgaiman.com/journal/2006/11/evil-and-goats.html

Paleochora thinks.

Friday 13 April (and I'm not going out just in case....)

Hot weather over the last few deays but very windy; so windy that the bourganvilla on the balcony tried to take off and emigrate to Libyia, taking half the support frame and the marble strip on top of the balcony wall with it.

Nice concert in the community centre last night. We went out at 21.00 to see it and it finally kicked off at 23.00 with the guest star appearing at midnight! If it hadn't been for his expertise on the lyra I might have suspected he was a goat giveen the amount of retsina he forced me to drink.

The fightback begins!

At last! Notice is been taken of my warnings about the evils of goats!!


http://environment.guardian.co.uk/conservation/story/0,,2051980,00.html


The reach of them clearly goes beyond the boundaries of Crete/Greece and is obviously a world wide issue. Three cheers for Lynton Council is what I say!



Paleochora thinks.


Easter Sunday morning at 00.15: Judas burnt, fireworks going off madly and prettily then someone grabs a flare, runs on the Fortress walls with it and throws it down the slope. The result.....a nice Easter blaze and the fire engine is called out! Police are looking for a goat with a singed beard.



It's going to be interesting to see what come up on the burnt patch



(Just visible in the photo but it looks a lot worse in real life!)




























Sunday 8 April 2007. The first serious sunbathers spotted on the beach; needless to say they were white in the morning and bright red by lunchtime.

Further proof of the existence of "non sequitur" goats

For those doubters who doubt the existence of "non sequitur" goats, i.e. goats who can disguise themselves as other ordinary object like, say, a bottle of beer or a misso kilo krasi aspero and then jump out at you anf give you a headache, have a look at the following which appears at: /www.decanter.com/news/47909.html
Goats continue to Roam despite Rhône objections.

February 17, 2004.



Oliver Styles

South African winery Fairview has introduced a new line of wines called 'Goats do Roam in Villages' as a trademark fight with the French continues in the US. According to the label on the back of the bottle, the new wine was so named after a herd of goats from the estate farm 'volunteered' to go and supply their milk to a village of children orphaned by AIDS. The name of the wine follows on from a couple of puns – intentional or not – on Rhône-style reds, in particular, Goats do Roam, similar to Côtes du Rhône, and Goat Roti (Côte Rôtie). Fairview – also a goat farm - originally claimed that the naming of the wines was 'purely coincidental', pointing out that goats do roam near – and once actually in - the vineyard. With this release Fairview are taking a new line and boss Charles Back is keen to stress the conceptual difference. 'As a concept, Goats do Roam in Villages is intellectually far apart from its French counterpart,' he said. He added that he seriously doubted the label on the new bottle (pictured) resembled any village in France. These puns – 'justified' according to Malcom Gluck in The Guardian – have irked France's terroir creator and protector, the INAO (Institut National des Appellations d'Origine). The INAO is currently in a legal battle in America to stop the trademark of Fairview's Goats Roti. The similarity between the Goats do Roam line and the French wines of the Côtes du Rhône is 'evident' according to INAO spokesperson Sylvie Serra. The INAO is keen to avoid the media interest generated by the wrangle. 'We are not playing his game. We do not want to feed the publicity it has created,' said Serra. According to Back, the troubles started when Fairview wanted to register the name of their wine in the US and it was blocked by the French. The INAO claim that some Americans may not see the difference between the wines. Ironically, the Goats do Roam trademark was accepted in Europe before the first bottles were produced in 1999.

Enraged or inspired by what you've read? Have your say on the Letters page of Decanter magazine by emailing editorial@decanter.com.

Good for the French, that's what I say! Keep goats out of wine! Mind you, on the otherhand if the bottles are clearly are labled as wine made from goats who would drink the stuff; furthermore it wouldn't be a "nonsequitur goat" if it was labled as a goat, would it?

Oh shit, I've just disproved my own theory.

Possible Goat HQ?

23 March 2007

Possible Goat HQ?

Spotted this up in the mountains above Spaniakos when out botanising. I suspect it might be the Goat HQ for the area.

Goat activity is increasing with them apparently recruiting sheep to carry out kamikaze attacks on our car. Fortunately the sheep were too stupid to do the job properly and instead of throwing themselves off the bank onto the car, they threw themselves off the road into an olive grove…a lucky escape there!

Paleochora thinks

12.30 Friday 23 March temp: 18 degrees

Yesterday it did piss down! The rain hardly stopped all day and the main road was like a river. Fortunately I managed to find shelter in a kafenion or three so missed the worst of it. Other than that it was quite warm and all the indications are that spring has definitely sprung.

The local kids are getting ready for the weekend Independence Day celebration and no doubt praying the rain holds off.

12.15. Just had a nice heavy hail shower but the skies have now cleared.

What is the truth about Goats?

18 March 2007 The Start

Here on the lovely island of Crete (for our American friends that's off Greece, Europe) we are faced with a problem...Goats.

I first became aware of their evil plan to take over the world when, up in the hills above Paleochora, I saw hanging from a tree, the skull of a goat. Why was it there?

After a while it occured to me that I'd been watched by goats ever since I got to Crete in April 2006; everywhere you go there are goats. Big ones, little ones, medium sized ones and all inbetween ones. Then it hit me, the theory, not the goat.

Could it be that there was something going on that the goats didn't want us to know about and that the skull belonged to a goat that had threatened to betray the conspiracy?

Could it be that goats are planning to take over the world, starting with Crete.

Since that fateful day I've been gathering evidence that goats are in fact plotting a takeover; not sure if aliens in area 51 are involved but I suspect Cretan cats might be planning to play some part in the plot and if they, the cats, ever learn how to use tin openers then we're all doomed!



Paleochora thinks.



(BTW, Paleochora is on the bottom left hand corner of Crete, just before you drop off the edge.)

Sunday morning; 10.20 ish with the temp 17 degrees and light cloud, no wind. The wind last week was unfortunate to say the least, it was lovely in the sun and shelter but blowing force 5 in any exposed spot.

Looking forward to the summer after a warm(ish compared to London) winter and the chance to get back in the water.